– Marc Gafni’s students, collaborators, and supporters speak out for the sake of restoring integrity. This comment by Hilary Anne B about asking Marc to “tell me about these allegations” was first posted to the Center for Integral Wisdom statement on centerforintegralwisdom.org. You can read the statement below or listen to the audio. –
I met Marc when I attended one day of the summer festival in the Netherlands he was teaching at…that first day turned into a week and then into 4+ years of learning and growing with him – I have been amazed by his inspired and brilliant living teachings, heart expressions, and down-to-earth ways he brings complicated spiritual and life topics into living reality.
It was on that first meeting that I had the opportunity to sit with him personally and ask him about the past allegations – this unusual conversation was brought up because I introduced him to a colleague who was considering writing an article about him in a Dutch popular magazine and she needed to do her due-diligence.
In that awkward conversation: “hello my name is ___, tell me about these allegations….” He was forthcoming and candid. He went through many of the stories we brought up in a clear and open way. We were satisfied and, I felt a lot of pain that the old history had been used over and over again to defame him. It was clear to me after that conversation that the topic, while at that time not inflamed as it is now again, had taken its toll on him and he was hurt by the maliciousness of it.
As an American living aboard for over 19 years, I have discovered through my distance from the rhetoric of US sensibilities around sexual responsibilities to be – often – overreaching…and victimizing. I am in no way excusing or exonerating people from upholding the golden rule: respect and choice. No one should be forced or manipulated into sexual or emotional situations.
But the black and white thinking that is characteristic of the American mentality is not useful when grey areas are the norm…especially when it comes to sexual play, power play, etc. There are other – valid ways – to look at these topics.
And the witch hunt expression of this attack against Marc feels to me like some of the most nasty and oppressive parts of the culture of fear that emerges in America – people, colleagues, victims protecting themselves – legally, emotionally, financially. When true dialog –with the potential of healing, like the kind Marc has asked for from the people who accuse him and like the kind I had with him when I was unsure, is missing.
I have enjoyed a deep connection to Marc in the last few years, serving on the inner circle of staff for the festival in Holland and holding space for the hundreds of participants who join each year. It has been an honour and a privilege to have served and been close to him as a teacher and friend. His brilliance and special talents are wild and bright. I know that for many, being close to someone so brilliant is hard to understand and to manage…is he a teacher? Is he a friend? Is he a guru? Is he fake? It’s hard to put a normal context around the Marc phenomenon.
I will say this: I care and respect Marc Gafni, his work, his integrity and his intentions. I give him the benefit of the doubt and hope and pray that those who stand against him are willing to heal the pain – so we can all go on with better things to do.
Hilary Brown, Founder of Yoga Moves in The Netherlands